Happily Ever After Bazooka: Beauty and the Beast
by Tejanochica
Summary: Reborn finds a new bazooka and decides to find out exactly what it does. Has the OC from Storm Cloud and what not, enjoy!


"Eto, Reborn," Tsuna started nervously as he eyed the strange new weapon in the infant's hands, "what is that?"

"Not sure," the baby hitman admitted as he peered through the weapon's sights, "but I got it from Lambo, so how bad could it be?"

_It could be very bad!_ Tsuna paled considerably, recoiling from the baby and the weapon.

"I wonder who we should test it on," Reborn smirked as he swung the barrel around until it pointed right at Tsuna's head.

"Hiie! Not me!" the boy squeaked as he dived out of the way.

He chanced a glance over the low table he was using as a cover when he heard Reborn chuckling to himself. Now that the weapon – and his tutor's attention – wasn't directed towards him he took a moment to actually look at the strange new device. It looked a lot like the Ten Year Bazooka, but instead of being purple it was a powdery blue with a castle painted around the "business end" of the barrel.

"I wonder what it does," he said softly to himself.

"Yes, what indeed," Reborn mused as he pointed bazooka out the window and down at the street.

"Eh heh, what're you looking at?" Tsuna asked as he looked out the window as well.

"Oh, nothing," the baby's smirk grew as he squeezed the trigger.

* * *

"Oh my God! Will you just leave me alone?" Reina groaned, whirling around to face the prefect that had been following her for the past half hour.

"Not until I bite you to death, herbivore," Hibari growled, readying his tonfas for a fight.

"Really?" she sighed in exasperation, her shoulders sagging.

"Does that mean you give up?" he self-proclaimed carnivore smirked.

"Ninguna manera en el infierno," she declared with her own smirk as she drew her staff; the metal snapping to attention in her hands.

Before either of them could make the first move they heard a soft click followed by a shot of some kind. Neither wasted any time, leaping out of the way of whatever had been fired. Reina watched in a mixture of horror and surprise as where they had been standing moments ago was the impact zone for a missile of some kind.

"What the -?" she coughed as a cloud of smoke wrapped around her and the ground rippled beneath her feet.

She coughed into her fist as she spun her staff in one hand to disperse the smoke, trying to get her bearings. The first thing she saw when the smoke cleared was Hibari scanning the area with his tonfas ready to attack. The two made brief eye contact before nodding once and splitting up to look for their assailant.

* * *

"They sure work well together," Reborn observed with an approving nod at the two scanning the alleyway.

Tsuna just whimpered as he tried to sink lower below the window sill but still be able to see into the alley. He squeaked and ducked down until he could only see his wall when Hibari's icy glare landed on him.

"What is the meaning of this, Baby?" the prefect's voice sounded as cold and scary as if he had been standing in the room with them.

"Sorry!" Reborn yelled down to the two standing in the alley, "Dame-Tsuna accidentally fired his new weapon."

"Why do I not believe that," Reina's disappointed sigh floated through the open window.

"Well, it's the truth," the infant shot back, "so it doesn't matter if you believe it or not!"

Tsuna tried to sink into the floor when he heard his neighbor muttering under her breath and a set of footsteps walking away. How had his life turned out like this? All he had ever wanted was a normal life; work a normal job, marry Kyoko, have a few kids, and then die of old age around 80 or so.

"Where do you think you're going, Herbivore?" he shuddered when he thought that was directed towards him, but relaxed when he realized it wasn't.

"Buzz off!" his neighbor snapped as the steps picked up.

* * *

After spending almost the entire day dodging a certain prefect, Reina was officially tired. She didn't even have the energy to trudge up to the stairs to her room, so she just flopped down on her couch. Or that's what she tried for at least, what ended up happening was her more or less toppling to the ground after barely hitting the edge of the couch.

"So tired," she groaned, staring blearily at the ceiling.

She crinkled her nose slightly when she smelled the smoke from earlier. She pinched some of the fabric of her shirt and brought it to her nose and took a sniff. Her face immediately contorted in mild disgust, the smell was in her clothes! She groaned again as she rolled over and slowly got to her feet, stumbling her way towards her room.

She didn't even make it to her door when she collapsed onto the floorboards in exhaustion.

_I should really get some more sleep_, she thought as she rolled onto her back and let sleep take over.

* * *

It was midnight when the smoke came, though no one noticed. Somewhere in a geologist's lab the slight tremor that ran through the ground was registered, but no one noticed that either. For a moment the entire town of Namimori was covered in a thick cloud of smoke and then… it vanished. The entire town vanished along with the smoke, and no one noticed.

No one that is, except for one "useless" boy.

* * *

Tsuna whined when the morning light hit his face, trying to coerce him awake. He just rolled over and buried his face into his pillow. As he was beginning to drift away again, something tickled his nose and jerked him back into wakefulness. He groaned and swatted away whatever it was and settled back to try to sleep, only for the sensation to return. He finally sat up and peeled his eyes open to scan his room for the annoyance only to have his eyes nearly pop out of his head.

Where was his computer? His games? His CDs? Where was the furniture? Had Reborn redecorated while he was asleep? Was this some twisted lesson to teach him to appreciate his possessions? It had to be! Why else would his room be empty except for the bed he was sitting on? And what had happened to his bed? What was once a very comfortable mattress had been was just straw covered in… were those _furs_?

"It's about time you got up, Dame-Tsuna," he recognized Reborn's voice, but it seemed somehow smaller than before…

"Eh? Reborn? Where are you?" he asked, looking around his now bare room.

"Tch, I'm right here you useless boy!" his tutor snapped and kicked him in the head.

Well, Reborn's kick felt as hard as ever despite how squeaky his voice sounded.

"Wha?" he asked, rubbing his sore head and looking around still.

"Did you really think I was going to let you sleep the whole day away?" the invisible baby sighed and Tsuna saw something that he could've lived his entire life without seeing.

It was Reborn, but a lot smaller. Probably around the same size as his pinky nail; and he was sparkling. A halo of orange glitter surrounded the miniature hitman as he floated in the air. The baby was still wearing his trademark suit and a tiny Leon scurried around on the brim of his hat.

"Uh… Reborn?" the baffled teen stuttered.

"What?" the baby snapped, crossing his arms and floating a bit higher.

"You're, uh, smaller," Tsuna said after struggling to find the right word.

"No I'm not!" the sparkling infant denied, "I'm the same size that I've always been."

"Uh, sure," Tsuna agreed uneasily, "I just forgot."

"Jeeze, you really are useless," Reborn sighed in disappointment as Tsuna got out of bed.

He nearly squeaked in surprise when he saw his clothes; what had happened to his shirt? It had been his favorite! Instead of the soft cotton that he had grown used to an itchy, dark green shirt covered him, and instead of the shorts he had fallen asleep in he was wearing brown leggings that were a bit too long and dragged on the dirty floorboards.

"Reborn! What happened? Why am I dressed like this?" he asked, pulling at the almost long sleeves of the shirt.

"Nothing happened," the infant scoffed. "What? Did you think that just because you have a fairy godfather that you'd become a prince? That's not how it works."

"I? Wha? You?" he gaped dumbly at the floating baby. "You're my fairy godfather?"

"Duh," Reborn snorted, "why else would I be here?"

"Oh Tsuna!" a voice from outside ended any form of coherent thought in his head except for one.

_It's Kyoko!_ He swooned as a dopey grin plastered itself to his face.

Without a moment to lose he shot out of the room and almost fell down the stairs when he tried to run down them. Reborn was left floating in a cloud of orange sparkles, shaking his head at his charge. No amount of prompting from him was enough to get the boy out of bed, but two words from a girl sent him flying out of the house.

"What am I going to do with him, Leon?" he asked the chameleon that rested on the brim of his hat.

* * *

Hibari glared down at the large animal prints set into the muddy soil. Villagers had reported seeing a large beast prowling around the outskirts, and he would tolerate no trespassers in his territory.

"Kusakabe," he said as his gaze slid over to his second in command. "Send out the hunters; I want this beast's head on my wall by the end of the week."

"Yes, Sheriff Hibari," the man bowed before taking his leave to carry out his orders.

Hibari's silver eyes trailed back down to the tracks on the ground as his underling left the clearing. It was a large animal with five claws on each foot, the back two being smaller than the front. He had never seen tracks like this before; what kind of animal could it be? Not that it mattered. He would still kill it and prove once again that he was mightier than any beast in nature.

* * *

Deep in the woods a large animal rested its pointed muzzle on its front paws. She watched lazily as birds flitted through the trees whistling cheery tunes. Suddenly the forest went silent and the beast raised her head, sniffing the air cautiously. The scent of humans was on the air, and that paired with the faint sound of feet passing through the underbrush that could only mean one thing; hunters.

The beast got to her feat slowly and padded over to a fallen tree. As the sound of the hunters drew closer the beast slid into the small crevice made by the felled trunk and the natural slope of the ground. Not a second later the humans burst into the clearing shouting at each other. The beast sighed softly as she settled in to wait for the hunters to leave; clearly there would be no welcome here for her either.

* * *

"Oi! You're stinking up the entire market with your dumb sushi, you idiot!"

"Ha ha, I'm sure it's not _that_ bad, Gokudera…"

Tsuna fought hard to hide the blush that dusted his cheeks as he walked with Kyoko in the market, occasionally pausing at stalls. He couldn't believe his luck! He was having one on one time with Kyoko! Surely this was a dream of some kind.

_A horrible dream_, he thought with a shudder as he remembered the sparkling Reborn he had woken up to.

"Ah, look at this Tsuna!" Kyoko said as she stopped at the baker's stall. "Doesn't it look delicious?" she asked, referring to a beautifully frosted cake sitting on a small platform.

"Y-yeah, it does," he agreed, though he had the feeling that he would've agreed with her no matter what.

He discretely checked his pocket for some money to buy it for her when he saw the way she lingered by the display. He wasn't exactly surprised that he found nothing, so he just let it go.

"Attention EXTREME villagers!" a booming voice echoed off of the buildings and around the marked and over the din of the crowd, spooking birds from their perches. "Sheriff Hibari has issued the decree that no unauthorized persons shall enter the forest under pain of death, TO THE EXTREME!"

Almost immediately a murmur arose from the crowd; the forest was the livelihood of some people and to take that away was like sentencing them to death.

"This is for your safety!" the voice continued, "An EXTREMELY dangerous beast has been spotted in the forest and the Sheriff doesn't want any unnecessary deaths while he hunts it!"

The market went into an uproar at this. A beast? In their forest? Children clung to their parents' legs and some even started to cry. Some people spoke about going home where it was safe. Some people spoke about joining Hibari in the hunt for this beast.

"Maybe I should take you home…" Tsuna gulp as he watched people fly into a panic; he didn't feel so safe in the market place anymore.

"Yes," Kyoko nodded as she watched the baker's stall close, "maybe you should…"

* * *

A blood curdling howl broke through the peaceful night that had settled over the village and tore Tsuna from the sleep that he had tried so hard to get. He looked around frantically and found that he was in the same bare room. The howl sounded again and he nearly jumped out of his skin; it sounded so close! He wrapped a blanket around himself and shuddered as he listened to heavy footsteps rush past his house.

_What kind of person in their right mind would run __**towards**__ that sound?_ He wondered as the footsteps faded away and another howl ripped through the night.

One thing was for sure, he was _not_ that kind of person. He was more the kind of person to cower under a blanket and wonder about what kind of person would run towards danger, obviously. He flopped back down onto the straw and tried to pretend it was his mattress, telling himself that all would be right in the morning.

* * *

The beast was switching between whimpering and howling in pain as she struggled to free herself from the bear trap her rear right leg was caught in. She cursed the form she had been bound in as the sound of hunters reached her sensitive ears. Even more reason for her to escape and kill the sorcerer that cursed her, but that wouldn't be possible if she was killed here by hunters! By some stroke of luck the trap wasn't tied down to anything – that or she had broken the tether with her thrashing – and was able to make her escape; half loping and half limping into the trees.

* * *

Tsuna couldn't believe this. He was actually going _towards_ the howling! What was wrong with him?

"I must be going crazy," he sighed to himself as he cowered in some bushes.

"Nonsense!" Reborn squeaked, floating out from his hair.

"Hiie! Reborn!" the boy squeaked in surprise, "What're you doing here?"

"I'm your fairy godfather," the infant explained with a roll of his eyes, "I go where you go."

"Oh... okay…"

Silence passed between the two as Tsuna picked his way through the underbrush.

"You're not going crazy," Reborn said after a while. "You just care too much."

"Eto… thanks?" the boy frowned in confusion.

"That's why I was assigned to you," the fairy went on, "because you care so much; the world needs more people like you."

"R-really?" he stuttered; that was probably the nicest thing that Reborn had ever told him!

"Yeah, minus the complete failure part of course!"

"Of course," Tsuna repeated, noticeably sadder than before.

* * *

If Tsuna had to guess he would say it was around two in the morning when they came across the cabin, and truthfully he wished that it was two in the afternoon because he thought it was more than a little bit creepy. Either way he had been bullied in by Reborn – some things never changed no matter what reality he was in. The door creaked loudly when he nudged it open, causing him to cringe; though not as much as the sight that greeted him in the cabin. Blood was smeared on almost every surface and in a back corner a ball of matted brown fur rose and fell along with rasping breaths.

He would have turned and ran if it hadn't been for Reborn who cast some kind of spell that made the door shut in his face.

"It needs your help," was all the baby would say as he gestured to the mass of bloody fur.

Tsuna took a deep breath that got caught about halfway down his throat, nearly choking him. He took timid steps with Reborn leaving an orange trail in the air next to him. When he was about within arm's reach the beast raised its head and stared at him with deep brown eyes that seemed almost human. His heart nearly stopped but then doubled in speed when the beast just turned its head to the side and let out a deep sigh. He took that as a sign that he could continue and reached out to touch its shoulder.

* * *

The beast would've roared in pain if she hadn't known it would've sent the boy running. Instead she growled lowly and tried to shift away, which only caused more discomfort. The boy had touched a particularly nasty gash in her shoulder, courtesy of a jagged tree branch hanging at just the right angle. The boy took the hint and withdrew his hand and she sighed in mild relief. She watched him warily as he shuffled in place, clearly unsure of what to do.

That's when she saw it.

There was a small orange blob floating near his head. She knew what that blob was. That blob was possibly the only thing that could help her right now.

"Heal," her voice rasped in her throat from years of being dormant.

The boy visibly jumped at this; clearly he didn't expect her to speak.

"Heal," she repeated, her voice still rough, "please…"

* * *

"R-reb-born," Tsuna stuttered, glancing at the equally shocked baby. "C-can you?" he couldn't even finish the question.

"I can try," he said, pushing up his sleeves a bit.

Tsuna watched in fascination as the fairy flitted over the beast's bloody body healing wounds that he didn't even know were there. He noticed that where Reborn healed bare skin lingered for a long moment before being overtaken by fur.

"She's been touched deeply by magic," Reborn said with a frown as he drifted down towards her rear legs. "Help me with this," he ordered, gesturing to the bear trap clenched around her right knee.

Tsuna could only nod as he reached for the rusty contraption. He stopped when the beast flinched away, looking her straight in the eyes. He slowly reached for the device again, maintaining eye contact the whole time. The beast's leg twitched a bit when he gripped the jaws of the trap but otherwise she remained motionless. He managed to pry open the rusted hinges enough for her to slip her leg out of it, but deep gashes still ran from her knee to her ankle. Reborn immediately went to work on the leg, leaving a sparkling orange glow wherever he had healed. Neither could quite believe it when the leg transformed into a woman's before changing back to how it looked before minus the trap and blood.

"How?" again Tsuna couldn't finish his question.

"I told you she'd been touched by magic," Reborn clicked his tongue at him, "most likely by a –"

"Sorcerer," the beast growled, rising to her feet shakily.

Tsuna turned around quickly to see a man standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the predawn light. Wait… he knew that man! He was from the village!

"Very good, Beast," the man chuckled, stepping into the cabin, "I see that you still know your master," a cruel smile twisted the man's face as he raised a clenched fist and the beast fell to the floor writhing in pain.

"No! Stop that!" Tsuna yelled; though why he did was beyond him.

"Why, do you want some too?" the man asked, turning his attention to Tsuna now.

The boy instantly fell to the dirt floor with a cry of pain. It felt like white hot brands were being pressed against his skin while a million knives were being driven into his body all at once. He could dimly hear Reborn calling his name while something more sinister rumbled through the air of the cabin.

"Herbivore," Hibari's cold voice cut through his pain.

* * *

"Ah, Sheriff Hibari," the man sounded almost guilty as he whipped around to face the angry man.

"What're you doing here, herbivore?" Hibari growled, his hand straying towards the tonfas strapped to his hip.

"I caught this boy helping the beast," the man explained, "I thought it would be best if I taught him a lesson."

"Is that so?" Hibari raised an eyebrow. "The law states that all punishments are to be assigned and carried out by me, does it not?" he asked evenly; everyone knew the answer to this question.

"Well, yes," the man started to shift uneasily, "but I—"

Hibari cut him off with a tonfa to the gut.

"Exactly; you have broken the law," he said into the man's ear. "And the punishment for attacking another villager is death," he explained as he pushed a button hidden on his weapon's handle, releasing a spike into the man's body.

He withdrew his weapon from the man's body and watched impassively as he fell to the ground. He stepped over the bleeding form into the cabin so he could deal with the traitorous boy himself. His eyes swept over the small room with distaste as he noted the blood and overturned furniture. He stopped his inspection of the room when his eyes came to rest on the figure of a woman lying on her back near the rear of the cabin. He walked calmly over to her just as the first rays of the morning sun reached over the horizon.

* * *

"Wake up, herbivore," a cold voice ordered as a foot nudged into her side.

"Déjame en paz," Reina groaned as she swatted at the offending foot, rolling onto her side.

The nudging turned from semi gentle to full out kicking as whoever it was got progressively angrier at her. Finally she just grabbed the ankle and tugged, pulling her assailant down to the floor with her. She smirked to herself at the loud thunk of the person falling ungracefully. Her smirk quickly went away when the toe kicks turned into a heel driving into her side.

"What is your problem?" she finally growled, sitting up so she could glare properly at this very annoying person.

Her glare only intensified when she realized it was Hibari.

"What do you want?" she hissed, her eyes narrowing to slits.

"Fight me," he ordered, sitting up and matching her chocolate glare with his own silver one.

Her hand shot out of its own accord – or so she would claim if asked later – and struck a pressure point that she knew would knock him out for a few hours. When his body slumped to the side she pushed him over and got to her feet. She yawned and scratched her stomach as she walked down the stairs.

"I wonder what the Sawadas are having for breakfast," she said aloud as she opened the front door and left.

* * *

Tsuna awoke to find that he was – thankfully – back in his bed and dressed as a normal teen of the 21st century would be; maybe it had all been a bad dream.

"Finally awake, I see," Reborn observed with a smirk as he sipped his espresso.

Tsuna was happy to find a full sized Reborn sitting at the foot of his bed for once and even smiled as he sat up.

"Good morning Reborn," he said as he threw his covers back.

The baby just took a long sip of his coffee before setting the cup aside.

"I found out what that weird new weapon does," he said as he watched his student reach for the door.

"Eh? Really?" the teen asked, turning his head in slight interest. "What does it do?"

"It's called the Happily Ever After Bazooka," Reborn said, watching his student's reaction carefully. "It turns the target and anyone connected to him or her into characters in a fairytale that they have to complete before turning back to normal."

"R-really?" Tsuna squeaked before clearing his throat. "Really? That's so interesting," he managed to choke out before rushing out the door and down the hall; so it hadn't been a dream after all!

A small part of him wondered what fairytale they had been trapped in as he tried to eat his breakfast, but a far bigger part of him wondered what his neighbor was doing at the table.

* * *

Translations:

Ninguna manera en el infierno - No way in Hell

Déjame en paz - Leave me alone


End file.
